The Carthon Communication Theory™ (CCT)
(Originally created and written in 2011)
Disagreements -vs.- Arguments:
No one will agree on everything, even best friends. The key to having a disagreement instead of an argument is understanding that just because someone doesn’t agree with you doesn’t mean that it’s an attack on you.
So, using that understanding, my Carthon Communication Theory™ is based on the following:
THE CARTHON COMMUNICATION THEORY™:
There are only three (3) things that can occur from any rational discussion or disagreement:
- The person hears you, takes what you said in, meshes it with the information they already have, and comes to the conclusion that no piece of what you said changes their opinion in any form or fashion (no change).
- The person hears you, takes what you said in, meshes it with the information they already have, and comes to the conclusion that a piece of what you said changes their opinion slightly or heavily, be it 5%, 50%, or more (partial change).
- The person hears you, takes what you said in, meshes it with the information they already have, and comes to the conclusion that the other person’s opinion has more validity and changes their opinion fully (complete change).
The CCT contends that there should never, ever be an argument because arguments stem from people feeling disrespected or not heard, or them actually being disrespected or not heard.
In that case, the conversation is no longer rational because the person not listening is not being rational by not listening, being dismissive, and/or being disrespectful...
...the person feeling disrespected is responding based on something that isn't actually happening or being unnecessarily combative to someone who can't actually hear you/not listening.
In rational conversation, arguments should never occur because none of the things that cause out-of-control emotions, like anger and/or rage, should be able to exist in that space.